How does trauma get stuck in your body? What effects does it have long term? How do you overcome trauma? This book explains.
Can you dance your way to mental health?
Find out.
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to our deep dive on the impact of trauma. We’re going to explore how trauma affects, well, not just individuals. It really ripples outward to families and communities, you know, and leaves these lasting marks on the brain and the body.
And we’ve got the perfect guide for this journey, “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk.
It’s an incredible book.
It is, I’m really looking forward to unpacking all the powerful stories and insights with you.
Yeah.
Ready to dive in.
Absolutely. Let’s do it. Trauma is something we, you know, really need to understand better. And I think van der Kolk does a great job of getting to the heart of it, to its profound and wide-reaching effects.
Okay. So let’s paint a picture for our listeners. One of the things that really struck me was how PTSD, I tend to think of it as a soldier’s burden, but it impacts their whole family. Wives of veterans with PTSD, for instance, often experience depression. And children raised in that kind of environment often to develop anxiety, insecurity.
It’s not just their burden to carry.
Yeah. It becomes a shared experience. Yeah. It shapes the dynamics of the entire family.
Absolutely. And that’s just one example. I mean, he also talks about how witnessing violence as a child can make it so hard to form stable, trusting relationships later in life.
It makes you wonder, like, if your early experiences are teaching you that relationships are dangerous, unpredictable, how can you truly let someone in? How can you trust?
Precisely. It’s like you’re always on guard. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
So we see right away that trauma isn’t just this individual problem. It really has these societal consequences that can, like, echo through generations.
Yeah. It’s bigger than just one person.
So what is it about trauma that makes it so impactful, so long-lasting?
Well, Van der Kolk, he really emphasizes that trauma is inherently unbearable. The experiences that cause it, they’re often so overwhelming that the natural response is to, well, to push them away, to try to forget them, to suppress those memories, because consciously reliving those experiences can be so painful. And it takes so much energy to function while carrying that weight.
It’s like your mind is trying to protect itself.
Exactly. It’s a survival mechanism.
And it speaks to, like, the incredible resilience of the human spirit.
Absolutely. Even in the face of such adversity. But it also highlights why it’s so crucial to approach trauma with sensitivity and understanding. You can’t just force someone to relive those experiences. It has to be done carefully with the right support.
He shares a really poignant story about a Vietnam veteran named Tom. And Tom dedicated his life to, you know, memorializing his fallen comrades. But his actions, his whole being, were shaped by the trauma he’d experienced in combat.
That’s so powerful. It’s like the trauma became woven into the fabric of his life.
Yeah. And I was really struck by how Van der Kolk talks about the lack of research on trauma, especially back when he was starting out.
It was a different time, for sure. The understanding of trauma was so limited.
He talks about learning so much directly from his patients. It wasn’t coming from textbooks or research papers.
His mentor, psychiatrist Elvin Semirat, really instilled in him this idea of listening to the patients, learning from the source, because everyone experiences trauma differently.
Yeah. You can’t have some kind of one-size-fits-all approach.
Absolutely not. And Semirat, he also stressed the importance of self-knowledge, of facing reality. He had this famous saying, “The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.”
That’s profound.
It is. And when you’re working with trauma, it’s all about confronting those lies for both the therapist and the patient.
Like shining a light on the darkness, facing those difficult truths head-on.
Exactly. It’s not easy, but it’s essential for healing.
And Van der Kolk, he uses this story about Bill, who was a Vietnam medic who became a pastor. And after his child was born, he had this breakdown. And it’s fascinating because seemingly innocuous things like a Rorschach ink blot… Wow. …would trigger these intense flashbacks for him.
So for him, even something abstract, some of this is supposed to be open to interpretation, became entangled with his trauma.
Right. And that must have been incredibly disorienting for him. Like his whole world was suddenly filled with these potential triggers.
Absolutely. And his story highlights how trauma can completely reorganize our perception, our senses, our imagination. They get all mixed up with the trauma. And everyday things can become these landmines, you know, transporting us back to that traumatic experience.
And that, of course, makes diagnosis incredibly difficult.
Oh, for sure. Back then, PTSD wasn’t even widely recognized. Veterans were often misdiagnosed.
With things like?
Alcoholism, depression, sometimes even schizophrenia.
Wow.
And the treatments they received often missed the mark. Sometimes, you know, they even caused more harm than good.
And Van der Kolk, he’s very critical of the over-reliance on medication to treat trauma, isn’t he?
He is. He argues that while medication can help manage some of the symptoms, it doesn’t address the root cause.
Right.
The underlying trauma.
Right.
And it can even become a distraction from the essential work of processing and integrating the traumatic experience.
Yeah, it’s like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound.
Exactly. You need to address the underlying injury for true healing to occur.
Now, you mentioned how Van der Kolk started to see the prevalence of childhood trauma among, you know, his patients.
Yeah, during his time at Boston State Hospital, it really hit him how common these experiences were.
What kind of things?
He was seeing people who had been through assault, neglect, witnessed violence.
It’s heartbreaking.
It is. He found that over half the people he was working with in psychiatric settings had experienced these kinds of things. And that’s when he really started to recognize just how profound and lasting the impact of early adversity can be.
And it really underscores the need for creating a more trauma-informed society. Right? Yeah. If we can acknowledge how widespread these experiences are, maybe we can start to change how we approach these issues.
Absolutely. We can’t address a problem that we’re not even willing to acknowledge.
Okay. Let’s get into the brain a bit. Because Van der Kolk talks about Steve Mayer’s research on learned helplessness in dogs. Yeah. For someone who’s not familiar, how does that relate to trauma?
So, Mayer’s research, it showed how trauma can actually change the way our brains respond to stress. Think about those dogs. When they learned that they couldn’t escape the shocks, they eventually gave up, even when escape was possible. It’s a powerful illustration of how trauma can dysregulate our natural fight, flight, or freeze responses.
So, it’s not just a matter of willpower or resilience.
Right. It’s about how trauma can literally change the wiring of our brains.
And those changes can lead to this chronic state of hyperarousal. So, even when the danger has passed, you’re still on edge, still waiting for the next bad thing to happen.
Exactly. Like, you can never fully relax, never truly feel safe, and that takes a toll. It’s exhausting.
Van der Kolk takes us on this journey through the brain, you know, explaining the reptilian brain, the limbic system, the neocortex.
He breaks it down in a way that’s actually understandable.
He really does. And he emphasizes the role of the emotional brain, you know, which is all about survival, releasing hormones that influence our actions, our perceptions.
It’s like the emotional brain is always on high alert, trying to protect us from danger.
And he uses the story of Stan and Ute, this couple who were involved in a car accident, to illustrate how even the same traumatic event can have these vastly different effects on different people.
Yeah. The brain scans showed such stark differences in their responses.
What were they?
Stan was reliving the accident, you know, experiencing those vivid flashbacks.
While Ute, she dissociated. It’s like she shut down completely.
And it shows how trauma can affect us on this really deep neurological level.
And it challenges this idea that everyone should react to trauma in the same way.
Absolutely. And understanding those individual differences is crucial for effective treatment. You can’t just apply the same approach to everyone.
Now, he introduces this idea of flashbacks, explaining how like the smallest things can trigger them. It’s like the world becomes this minefield for trauma survivors.
Yeah, their senses are heightened. They’re constantly scanning for danger, always on edge.
It must be exhausting.
It is. They’re living in this constant state of hypervigilance.
And then he talks about depersonalization, which you’d experienced during the car accident. This feeling of being detached from yourself, almost like you’re watching yourself from outside your body.
Yeah, it’s a common response to overwhelming experiences, a way of coping by disconnecting from our bodies and emotions.
Like your mind is trying to shield itself from the intensity of it all.
Exactly. It’s a defense mechanism.
So, if trauma can sever this connection to ourselves, how do we even begin to reconnect and heal?
That’s where things get really interesting. Vander Kolk, he emphasizes the importance of social connection and specifically the role of the vagus nerve in regulating our emotional state.
Now, for someone who’s hearing about the vagus nerve for the first time, why is this important in the context of trauma?
Think of the vagus nerve as this communication highway between your brain and your body. It’s involved in regulating your heart rate, your breathing, even your ability to engage socially. And what’s really interesting is, Vander Kolk talks about this theory called Polyvagal Theory, which highlights how feeling safe and connected in relationships can actually help regulate this nerve.
So, it’s not just about talking about the trauma, it’s about creating the sense of safety and connection that allows healing to happen.
Exactly. It’s about feeling safe enough to let your guard down, to allow yourself to be vulnerable.
This focus on feeling safe ties into, like, the whole idea of early development and attachment. What are your thoughts on how secure attachment in childhood can act as a buffer against the effects of trauma later in life?
It’s fascinating, right? Secure attachment, it gives us this foundation of safety and trust. It helps us navigate difficult experiences later on because we have this inner knowing that we’re not alone, that we have people we can rely on.
Whereas insecure attachment.
It can make us more vulnerable, yeah. When our early relationships are inconsistent or neglectful, it can make it harder for us to regulate our emotions, to trust others, to cope with stress.
And that’s where the ACE study comes in, the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, which really showed the long-term consequences of, well, of adverse experiences in childhood.
It was groundbreaking. It showed this strong link between those early experiences and a whole range of health and wellbeing problems later in life. Everything from heart disease to depression to even early death.
It’s a stark reminder of the profound impact of those early experiences.
It really is. And it underscores the need for prevention and early intervention. Because the sooner we can address these issues, the better.
Now, all this talk about adverse childhood experiences and the lasting impact of trauma, it brings us to the question of diagnosis. And Van der Kolk, he has some pretty strong opinions about the limitations of the traditional PTSD diagnosis, doesn’t he?
He does. He argues that it doesn’t fully capture the complex and pervasive effects of childhood trauma.
So it’s too narrow.
Yeah, it’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. This doesn’t quite work. He advocates for recognizing developmental trauma disorder as a distinct diagnosis. Something that better reflects the wide range of difficulties that these children often face.
So we’re talking about things like emotional regulation, impulse control,
attention, even their sense of self.
Absolutely. It’s a much more holistic understanding of how early trauma can impact a child’s development.
And this shift in thinking about diagnosis, it naturally leads us to exploring different treatment approaches. And Van der Kolk, he’s a real champion for a multifaceted approach, going beyond just talk therapy to address the somatic and neurological underpinnings of trauma.
He’s really a pioneer in this field. He recognizes that trauma is stored not just in our minds, but in our bodies as well. And that healing requires addressing both the psychological and the physical aspects of the experience.
So what are some of the modalities he explores in his book?
Well, he talks about EMDR, yoga, neurofeedback, even the power of play and creative expression.
That’s quite a ring.
It is. And it speaks to the need for individualized treatment plans. There’s no one size fits all solution.
You have expertise in several of these areas. So let’s start with EMDR. You’ve mentioned that it can help process traumatic memories. But for someone who’s not familiar with EMDR, how does it actually work?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It was developed by Francine Shapiro back in the late 1980s. And it’s based on this idea that when we experience trauma, it can get stuck in our nervous system. And that’s what causes us to relive the experience over and over again. So EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, like eye movements or tapping, while the patient focuses on the traumatic memory. And this helps to reprocess the experience and reduce its emotional charge.
So it’s like helping the brain create new pathways, new ways of understanding and storing that memory.
That’s a good way to put it. It’s not about erasing the memory, but about changing how it’s processed and accessed.
Fandr Kolk, he shares some pretty compelling examples of EMDR’s effectiveness in his book. He talks about David, who was stabbed years earlier and was still haunted by the memory. But after just a few sessions of EMDR, the memory lost its intensity. It became something that happened in the past, rather than something he was constantly reliving.
That’s the power of EMDR, right? It can help people move from being a victim of their past to a survivor of their experiences.
And he also talks about Maggie, who experienced childhood sexual abuse. And during her EMDR session, she was able to vividly remember the abuse, but she was also able to observe it from her adult self and to recognize that it wasn’t her fault and to begin to heal from that experience.
So EMDR allows people to access the wisdom and perspective of their adult selves and to offer a sense of compassion and understanding to their younger selves.
It seems like such a powerful tool for trauma recovery.
It can be, but it’s important to remember that it requires a trained therapist and a willingness on the part of the patient to engage in the process.
It’s not a quick fix, but it can be incredibly transformative.
Exactly, it’s a journey.
Now, you also have experience with yoga as a therapeutic tool for trauma.
I do.
And I think for a lot of people, they associate yoga with physical fitness. But how does it help with something as complex as trauma recovery?
That’s a great question. And Venerable talks about how trauma can create this disconnect between our minds and bodies. You know, we might feel numb or dissociated or constantly on edge. And what yoga does is it helps to bridge that gap. It brings us back into our bodies and helps us learn to feel safe and grounded again.
So it’s not just about the physical poses.
Right, it’s about the combination of the poses, the breathing exercises, and the mindfulness techniques. It’s all about reestablishing that mind-body connection.
And I imagine the mindfulness aspect encourages us to really pay attention to the present moment, to notice our breath, our body sensations, our thoughts and emotions as they arise.
Absolutely. It’s about developing this nonjudgmental awareness of our internal experience. And that can be incredibly healing, especially for trauma survivors.
Now, Vamikolk talks about his research on yoga and heart rate variability. Can you explain what that is and why it’s relevant to trauma recovery?
Sure, heart rate variability, or HRV, it’s a measure of the variation in time between each heartbeat. And it’s a good indicator of our nervous system’s ability to regulate itself.
So higher HRV equals a more resilient nervous system, one that’s better able to handle stress.
Exactly. And Vamikolk found that yoga significantly improved heart rate variability in trauma survivors, which suggests that it can help regulate the nervous system and reduce some of those physiological symptoms of trauma.
So it’s not just about feeling better subjectively. There’s actual measurable evidence to support the benefits of yoga for trauma.
Absolutely. And that’s what makes this research so exciting. It’s not just anecdotal evidence. We’re seeing real changes in the body.
Vamikolk also shares some personal stories from his patients about the impact of yoga. He talks about Bill, a veteran who found solace and healing through Bikram yoga.
I remember that story.
Despite his physical limitations, Bill was able to find a sense of like, bodily pleasure and mastery through the practice.
Which is so powerful, because trauma can often leave people feeling disconnected from their bodies, or even afraid of their bodies.
And he also talks about Annie, who was initially terrified of yoga.
A lot of people are.
Yeah. But she eventually found it to be a source of healing.
Annie’s story, it shows how challenging yoga can be at first, especially for trauma survivors, because it can bring up difficult emotions and physical sensations.
But with time and patience, it can become this source of strength and empowerment.
It’s about finding the right approach and honoring your own pace.
Exactly. It’s not about pushing yourself to the limit. It’s about listening to your body and respecting its limits.
Okay, let’s move on to neurofeedback, another area where you have a lot of expertise.
Yeah.
You’ve mentioned that it’s a way of training the brain to regulate its own activity. Can you break down how that actually works?
Of course. Neurofeedback is a type of biofeedback.
And it uses real-time displays of brain activity to teach self-regulation. So basically you place sensors on the scalp to measure brainwaves. And those brainwaves are then displayed on a computer screen.
So it’s like giving people a window into their own brain activity.
Exactly. And through a process of operant conditioning, they can learn to change their brainwave patterns. How? It’s kind of like a video game for the brain, where patients are rewarded for producing the desired brainwaves patterns.
That’s a great analogy. So by training different brainwave frequencies, you can influence different aspects of our mental and emotional state.
That’s the idea. And this can be especially helpful for people who are struggling with things like anxiety, insomnia, difficulty concentrating symptoms that are often associated with trauma.
Fanner Koch talks about how neurofeedback can target the neurological underpinnings of trauma. He mentions a study where neurofeedback was used to target the right temporal lobe, which is often overactive in people with PTSD. And the study found that neurofeedback led to significant improvements in PTSD symptoms, but also interpersonal comfort, emotional balance, self-awareness.
It’s really promising research. Because it suggests that neurofeedback can help to calm down the fear center of the brain, restore a sense of balance.
Fanner Koch highlights the work of Seabern Fisher.
Oh, she’s a pioneer in the field.
She’s developed these really sophisticated protocols for neurofeedback.
She’s amazing. She’s helped so many people find relief from trauma through her work.
And he shares the story of Lisa, who had struggled with severe dissociation. And after doing neurofeedback, she was able to stop dissociating and experience this more continuous sense of self.
It’s powerful stuff because for people who dissociate, it’s like they’re constantly fragmented, like their sense of self is shattered.
And neurofeedback can help bring those pieces back together.
Yeah. It can help integrate those fragmented selves and restore a sense of wholeness.
It sounds like it can be really transformative.
It can be. But again, it’s important to find a qualified practitioner who has experience working with trauma.
And it’s not a quick fix. It takes time and commitment.
Definitely. It’s a process.
So what are some of the key takeaways about neurofeedback from Fanner Koch’s book?
Well, he emphasizes that it can help with not just trauma-related symptoms. He talks about how it can improve creativity, athletic control, even inner awareness. It has applications beyond just the clinical setting.
So it’s not just about treating illness, it’s about enhancing well-being, optimizing brain function. Exactly. He also talks about the use of Key-EG, which is quantitative electroencephalography.
Right, which is a brain mapping technique.
And that can help guide the neurofeedback treatment.
It’s like creating a roadmap of the brain so you can see what’s going on and tailor the treatment accordingly.
He also talks about the impact of trauma on alpha and beta brain waves. And he mentions a study of soldiers that found prolonged combat exposure was associated with decreased alpha power and slower beta waves, which I guess reflects the state of persistent agitation and difficulty with focus.
Right, and that’s another way that trauma can impact the way our brains function. It can literally change those brainwave patterns. And neurofeedback offers a way to retrain the brain, so to speak, to restore those healthy patterns.
So we’ve talked about EMDR, yoga, neurofeedback, these incredibly powerful tools for trauma recovery. But Vander Kolk also emphasizes something that’s seemingly simple yet incredibly profound,
play and creativity.
Especially for children.
Especially for children. Why is that so important?
Play and creativity, they offer a way to heal that’s natural and safe. They allow children to process their emotions, explore difficult experiences, and develop a sense of mastery and control. And it’s not just about having fun, it’s about using those activities as therapeutic tools.
He talks about creating opportunities for spontaneous play.
Yes, not structured activities, not organized sports, but just giving kids the time and space to explore, experiment, let their imaginations run wild.
Which can be hard in today’s world, right? Where everything is so scheduled and structured.
It is, and I think we’ve lost sight of how crucial that unstructured playtime is for children’s development.
It’s a good reminder to us as adults to create those spaces for the children in our lives.
Absolutely. And he also talks about creativity for people of all ages, emphasizing that creative expression can be a powerful way to process trauma, express emotions, and find meaning.
He mentions writing, painting, music, dance.
All those things that allow us to tap into our emotions and tell our stories.
And they can provide a sense of release, of catharsis, of empowerment.
Exactly, it’s like reclaiming your voice. Reclaiming your power.
Vandercoek shares some really inspiring examples of how play and creativity are being used to help people heal. He talks about the trauma drama program, which uses theater to help foster care youth process their trauma.
It’s incredible what they’re doing.
And he also highlights the work of Paul Griffin and the Possibility Project.
Oh yeah.
Which empowers young people to create and perform their own musicals.
I love that, it’s about giving them a voice, giving them a platform to express themselves.
And it’s a reminder that healing from trauma is not just about therapy, it’s about creating opportunities for growth, connection, joy.
It’s about reclaiming our lives, finding our way back to wholeness.
Beautifully said. Now I wanna shift gears a bit and talk about this idea of a trauma-informed society. What does that mean to you?
A trauma-informed society, it recognizes the prevalence of trauma and its impact on individuals, families, communities, institutions. It’s about moving beyond seeing trauma as this isolated issue and understanding that it’s woven into the very fabric of our society.
So it’s a public health issue?
In many ways, yes. And it’s also about understanding how trauma affects people’s behavior, their relationships, their ability to function in the world.
So instead of judging or blaming, we try to understand.
Exactly. It’s about having empathy and compassion for people who have experienced trauma and creating systems that support them rather than re-traumatizing them.
So systems that prioritize safety, trust, empowerment.
Absolutely. Places where people feel safe to come forward, to seek help, to heal.
And it challenges the stigma and shame that often surrounds trauma.
Big time. It’s about creating a culture of understanding and support.
Okay, so what are some of the key elements of a trauma-informed society?
Van der Kolk, he talks about education and awareness. We need to learn about trauma, understand it, and then share that knowledge with others. It’s about breaking the silence, creating this culture of compassion.
So reading books like this one is a great starting point.
Absolutely, but it’s also about having those difficult conversations.
Yeah.
About breaking down the stigma.
He also emphasizes the need for trauma-informed systems. So transforming institutions like schools, hospitals, the criminal justice system.
Right, because those systems, they can often re-traumatize individuals instead of helping them heal.
So instead of punishing, we focus on support and understanding.
Exactly. It requires a fundamental shift in how we approach these issues.
And he talks about the importance of prevention, of addressing those root causes of trauma, like poverty, violence, child abuse.
Right, we can’t just focus on treating the symptoms. We have to address the underlying causes as well.
It’s about creating a more just and equitable society, one that prioritizes the wellbeing of everyone.
That’s the goal.
I think it’s important to talk about the impact of trauma on the body. Van der Kolk uses that phrase, “The body keeps the score.”
It’s not just a metaphor. It’s about how trauma, it gets embedded in our physical selves.
Okay, so we’re not just talking about bad memories here. We’re talking about how the body, how it reacts to trauma. And sometimes never really goes back to normal afterwards.
Yeah, exactly. Think about it. When something traumatic happens, your body goes into survival mode, right? Hearts racing, you’re breathing shallow, your muscles tense up. That’s your body trying to keep you alive in that moment.
But then what happens when those reactions, when they don’t fade away even after the danger’s gone?
Well, that’s where the score keeping comes in. If that trauma, if it isn’t processed, those physical changes, they can become your new normal. So we’re talking chronic pain, maybe digestive issues, even a weakened immune system. All of these can be the body’s way of holding onto that trauma.
So someone listening to this might be thinking, “Hold on, my chronic back pain, could that be linked to trauma?”
It’s definitely possible. I mean, it’s always important to consult with healthcare professionals for a proper diagnosis. But Van der Kolk’s work, it really highlights how interconnected our mental and physical wellbeing are. You can’t separate them.
And he keeps coming back to this idea of the vagus nerve. Can you remind us why that’s so important when we talk about trauma?
Think of the vagus nerve like a two-way communication highway between your brain and your body. It’s a big deal when it comes to regulating things like your heart rate, how you digest food, even how you react in social situations.
Okay, but how does trauma mess with that highway?
Well, when you experience trauma, it triggers that fight or flight response.
Right.
Right. And when that happens over and over, the vagus nerve, which normally helps us calm down, it becomes less effective at its job.
So it’s like the body’s stuck in overdrive, even when there’s no actual danger present.
Right, exactly. And that’s constant state of stress. It really does a number on the body. We’re talking inflammation, messed up hormones, all sorts of things.
It seems like Van der Kolk’s approach is so much more than just talk about your feelings. He’s really pushing us to recognize how deeply intertwined the physical and emotional responses to trauma are.
Absolutely. And he doesn’t just stop there. He actually advocates for all sorts of different approaches. Yoga, breathing exercises, mindfulness, even things like body work.
So it’s like these practices, they help us tune back into our bodies and learn to relax again, almost like saying, “Hey, it’s okay to calm down now.”
That’s a great way to put it. And the really cool thing is these practices, they don’t just make us feel better in the moment, they actually improve our vagal tone, which basically means they help the vagus nerve do its job better.
So we’re not just masking the symptoms, we’re actually addressing the underlying issue.
Right on. And that’s where true healing can begin.
Okay, all of this brings us to, I think, one of the most, well, one of the most crucial aspects of trauma’s impact, our sense of self. And Vander Kolk really doesn’t hold back in describing how deeply trauma can just shatter our identity.
It’s a huge loss. It can feel like your whole world has been flipped upside down. You lose your sense of safety, your trust in people, maybe even your belief in your own worth. Everything feels shaky.
It’s like the ground beneath you crumbles, and there’s nothing to hold on to.
And in trying to make sense of it all, you start to feel fragmented, like you’re not really whole anymore.
And he talks of this disconnect from the body, right? It’s almost like the body becomes this container for all the painful memories, and the instinct is to just detach from it completely.
That’s right. Some people, they go numb, others dissociate. Some might even resort to self-harm. It’s a desperate attempt to escape the pain that’s trapped inside.
And then there’s this feeling that trauma can just steal your sense of agency.
Oh, absolutely. The world suddenly feels unpredictable, dangerous, and you feel powerless to do anything about it.
That feeling of helplessness, it can be really, really crippling. Even making small decisions feels impossible.
It leads to this sense of hopelessness and despair. You feel like you’re just stuck.
So knowing all of this, how do you even begin to help someone piece themselves back together after a trauma like that?
Vander Kolk, he’s very clear that the foundation of healing is safety and connection. First and foremost, you need to create a space where someone feels seen, heard, understood.
So it’s not about pushing them to get over it. It’s about really being present with them in their pain.
Exactly. And that requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to just sit with their discomfort. It’s not always easy.
And he also talks about this idea of self-compassion, which can be a very difficult concept for trauma survivors to grasp. Oh, I know. Imagine a life where you’re constantly blaming yourself for everything that went wrong. That’s the reality for so many people who’ve experienced trauma. Self-compassion is about giving yourself the same kindness you would give to someone you love.
It’s about saying, it’s okay that I feel this way. I’m not weak for hurting.
Right. And that shift in perspective, it can be so powerful. It allows you to acknowledge the pain without judgment and start to forgive yourself.
Vander Kolk also emphasizes the importance of reconnecting with the body, which can seem counterintuitive, right? Especially when the body holds so much pain.
It can feel scary, but it’s through that reconnection that we can really begin to heal. Things like yoga, mindfulness, somatic experiencing, they offer these gentle ways to start exploring those physical sensations, to release tension, to start to reclaim your body as a source of strength, not just pain.
So it’s about saying, my body’s not the enemy. It’s a part of me that needs care and attention.
I love that because it’s true.
And then there’s that step of reclaiming your sense of agency, which trauma can really take away from you. Yeah, you feel like you’re just drifting along. No control over what happens to you.
But Vander Kolk, he reminds us that we always have a choice. We can choose how we respond. We can set boundaries. And we can start to create a life that has meaning.
And it’s about taking back that control step by step, realizing that you are not defined by what happened to you.
And it’s a journey. It’s not always a straight line.
Right. There will be setbacks, days when you feel like you’re moving backwards. But even on those days, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone.
There are people who care. There are resources out there. And there’s always, always hope.
That’s such an important message.
Now, Vander Kolk, he talks about a lot of different therapeutic approaches that can support that healing. He talks about finding a therapist who is trauma-informed, someone who really understands the complexities of trauma.
That relationship with your therapist is so crucial. It’s about finding someone you feel comfortable with, someone you trust to guide you through this difficult process.
He also mentions the benefits of group therapy, which I think can be really powerful.
I agree. Because so many people who’ve experienced trauma, they deal with this intense isolation and shame. And group therapy, it gives you this sense of community, this feeling that you’re not alone.
You can connect with people who get it, who’ve been through similar things.
Exactly. And that can be incredibly healing.
And Vander Kolk, he encourages trauma survivors to find ways to express themselves creatively.
Yeah, through writing, art, music, dance.
Any kind of creative outlet. Because it can be so cathartic. It helps you process those emotions, tell your story, connect with parts of yourself that you might have shut down after the trauma. It’s like finding your voice again. Exactly. Reclaiming your power.
Let’s shift gears a bit and talk about the broader, well, societal implications of trauma. Because Vander Kolk, he’s pretty clear. Trauma is not just an individual problem. He calls it a public health crisis.
And he’s right. It affects millions and millions of people worldwide. And it’s impact, it ripples outwards. It affects families, communities, institutions. We can’t ignore that.
And he talks about how trauma disproportionately affects certain communities.
That’s a crucial point. People who are already marginalized, who are facing systemic oppression and discrimination, they’re far more likely to experience trauma.
So we’re talking about the impact of poverty, racism, violence, all of these things.
Exactly. If we want to create a truly trauma-informed society, we have to address these systemic issues.
He also criticizes how a lot of our institutions, they actually re-traumatize individuals instead of helping them heal.
Yeah, he points to the criminal justice system, the mental health system. He says they often fail to meet the needs of trauma survivors.
Who are punishing people instead of supporting them.
Unfortunately, yes. And it needs to change. We need trauma-informed systems that prioritize safety, respect, and empowerment.
And that goes back to what we were talking about earlier, right, prevention.
Absolutely. We can’t just focus on treating the symptoms. We need to address the root causes of trauma, things like poverty, violence, child abuse. We have to create a world where fewer people experience these things in the first place.
So it’s about building a more just and equitable society, one that values the well-being of everyone.
Exactly.
Now, I want to circle back to something you said earlier about play and creativity, because Vaynerkolk dedicates a whole chapter to it. Why are those things so important for healing?
I think sometimes we forget how powerful those things can be. We see play and creativity as frivolous. But they’re actually essential for healing and growth, especially for kids.
He really pushes for that spontaneous play.
Right. It’s not about organized activities or structured sports. It’s about giving kids the freedom to just explore, experiment, use their imaginations.
And that kind of play, it helps them process their experiences, make sense of the world around them.
And it gives them a sense of control, which is so important, especially for children who’ve been through trauma, because trauma often leaves you feeling powerless.
And what about creativity for adults?
It’s equally important. Vaynerkolk talks about how creative expression can be a powerful way to process those emotions, tell our stories, find meaning.
So writing, painting, music, dance, all of that?
Exactly. They allow us to tap into those emotions to express ourselves in ways that words sometimes can’t capture.
It’s about finding a way to channel that pain into something positive.
Right. And it can be really empowering.
He shares some really great examples of how play and creativity are being used in therapeutic settings. He talks about the trauma drama program, which uses theater to help foster care youth process their experiences.
It’s amazing. They’re using creativity to help these young people heal and find their voices.
And he also mentions the work of Paul Griffin and the Possibility Project, which helps kids create and perform their own musicals.
I love that project. It’s so inspiring.
OK, let’s talk about what we can actually do. We’ve talked a lot about this idea of a trauma-informed society. But what are the steps we can take to make it a reality?
It starts with education, with awareness. The more we understand about trauma, the better equipped we’ll be to help ourselves and others.
So reading books like this is a great first step.
It is. But it’s also about having those conversations,
breaking the silence, creating a culture where people feel safe to talk about trauma.
And pushing for changes in our systems.
Yes.
Schools, hospitals, the criminal justice system, they all need to become more trauma-informed. They need to prioritize safety, respect, empowerment.
And we need to invest in prevention.
Absolutely.
Address those root causes of trauma, like poverty, violence, child abuse. It’s a multifaceted approach. But ultimately, it’s about creating a world where trauma is no longer a barrier to living a full and meaningful life.
It’s a big goal, but it’s an important one.
Absolutely.
Now, Vander Kolk talks about creating these islands of safety for people who’ve experienced trauma. What are those?
They’re spaces where people can feel safe, supported, understood. They can be physical spaces, like a therapist’s office or a support group. But they can also be internal spaces, like a sense of self-compassion or maybe a connection to a higher power, whatever that looks like for you.
And it’s a reminder that we can all be part of creating those islands of safety for each other.
I love that. Every act of kindness, every word of encouragement, every moment of genuine connection, they all make a difference.
We can all be part of the solution.
And it brings us back to that core message that healing is possible. No matter what you’ve been through, no matter how hopeless it might feel, there’s always hope.
That’s a powerful message.
It is. And it’s a message we need to hold onto, both for ourselves and for those we care about.
Now, I know you’ve dedicated your career to helping others heal from trauma. What gives you hope?
What gives me hope is the resilience of the human spirit. Even in the face of incredible suffering, people find ways to heal, to grow, to connect. It’s amazing. And it’s what keeps me going.
What about Van der Kolk’s work specifically? What do you find most inspiring about his approach?
It’s his holistic perspective. He doesn’t just see trauma as a mental health issue. He recognizes that it affects the whole person, the mind, the body, the spirit.
So it’s not just about talking about the trauma. It’s about finding ways to regulate the nervous system, to reconnect with the body, to use creativity as an outlet.
Exactly. It’s a truly integrated approach to healing.
His work is groundbreaking.
It really is. And it gives us a roadmap, I think, for creating a more trauma-informed world, a world where healing isn’t just possible, but probable.
So for someone listening to this, for our listener who’s been on this journey with us, what’s the one thing you’d want them to take away from this conversation?
I want them to remember that healing is possible. No matter what you’ve been through, no matter how hopeless you might feel, there is always hope.
That’s a beautiful message.
It is. It’s a message we all need to hear sometimes.
On that note of hope, we’ll be moving into the final part of our deep dive into “The Body Keeps the Score.” Stay tuned.
And we’re back. That message of hope that healing is possible, it really stuck with me. And it’s not just a feel-good sentiment. Benjakolk backs it up with real science, with incredible stories of people who’ve actually healed from trauma.
That’s what makes his work so powerful, I think. It’s that balance of the scientific understanding with the human experience. He creates this framework for healing that’s both grounded in research and incredibly hopeful.
I wanted to go back to something you said earlier about how trauma can leave people feeling so isolated, so alone. It’s like you’re dealing with this horrible experience. And on top of that, there’s this shame, this secrecy, that keeps you from reaching out for help.
Yeah, it’s a vicious idol. Trauma thrives in silence, in isolation. And breaking free from that isolation, that’s often the most important first step towards healing. It’s about realizing that you’re not alone, that other people have been through this too.
And that brings us back to the importance of creating a trauma-informed society.
Absolutely. A society that understands that trauma is widespread, that it affects people from all walks of life, and that it’s not something to be ashamed of.
It’s about building communities and systems that are sensitive to the needs of trauma survivors. So instead of judgment, we offer support.
Right. And it starts with each of us. By educating ourselves about trauma, having open conversations, and challenging the stigma that surrounds it, we can all be part of creating that change.
OK, so for a listener, for someone who’s maybe hearing all this and thinking, what can I actually do, what are some concrete actions they can take to create those islands of safety, both for themselves and for others?
Well, first and foremost, educate yourself about trauma. There are so many great resources out there. Books like The Body Keeps the Score, workshops, trainings. Even just talking to people who’ve experienced trauma can be incredibly enlightening.
It’s about opening our minds, expanding our understanding.
Exactly. And once we have that knowledge, we can start advocating for change in our communities, in our systems, support organizations that are doing this work, speak out against policies that perpetuate trauma, create those safe and supportive spaces in our own lives.
So it’s about both personal action and systemic change.
It is. And it’s important to remember that even small acts of kindness can make a huge difference. Offering a listening ear to a friend, donating to an organization, even just speaking up when you hear someone making a judgmental comment about mental health. Those things matter.
Well, as we wrap up our deep dive, what’s one final thought you want to leave our listener with?
I want to reiterate that healing is possible. It might not be easy. It might not be linear. But it is possible. No matter what you’ve been through, you deserve support. You deserve to heal. And you deserve to thrive.
That’s a beautiful message. Thank you so much for sharing your expertise with us today. It’s been an incredibly rich conversation.
It’s been my pleasure. And please, everyone listening, remember, you are not alone. There are people who care. There are resources available. And there is always, always hope.
And that wraps up our deep dive into “The Body Keeps the Score.” We hope you found this conversation insightful, empowering, and we encourage you to keep exploring this incredibly important topic. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other.
Leave a Reply